


Bagel Explosion

by EzzyDean



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Gen, M/M, Multi, rating is mostly for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-13 23:42:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7143206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzzyDean/pseuds/EzzyDean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The customer is not always right and sometimes you really wish you could tell them that.</p>
<p>This is that realistic "coffee shop au" you never knew you really wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bagel Explosion

**Author's Note:**

> Ezzy: i started laughing because of the words bagel AU  
> Bre: I mean  
> Bre: we all have that one author who we would read anything by  
> Bre: and you just happen to be the author whose bagel au I would read without a second thought

If there’s one thing that Iwaizumi Hajime has learned over the last three months it’s that Sugawara Koushi may look like an angel but when he’s tired his favorite word seems to be “fuck” especially when it is accompanied by “you” “that” or “this.”

It’s 8:25 and Hinata just informed them that someone had thrown up in the bathroom.  With five minutes left until they closed up shop Iwaizumi is already in the middle of cleaning up the register area and getting the tip jar counted, Daichi is scrubbing the ovens, and Hinata is heading back to the kitchen to return to being elbow deep in dirty display trays and baking pans.  Leaving Suga to clean up the mess.  Which no doubt had been there since at least before the last guests left - which was over twenty minutes ago.

Iwaizumi can hear Suga muttering frustratedly to himself as he goes to the supply closet to dig out cleaning supplies, thumps and rattles echoing in the quiet shop.  Iwaizumi locks the shop up, finishes his counting, puts it all in the safe in the office, and sweeps up behind the counter before heading to the bathroom to check on Suga.

He watches from the doorway as Suga sprays down the floor and wall near the trash can, wincing when Suga slams the can on the counter before grabbing a sponge out of the bucket near his feet, eyes barely flicking towards Iwaizumi.

“Suga?”  There’s no response except the splash of water as Suga rinses his sponge out.  “That’s supposed to be used on ovens, not bathrooms.”

“Iwaizumi.”  Suga doesn’t even look over his shoulder as he stands and drops the sponge in the bucket.  “Suck my dick.  I don’t even care today.”  He sets the bucket on the counter almost delicately, strips off his gloves and tosses them next to it.  “I am going home now.  Have a good day.  Tell Daichi I’ll talk to him later.”

“But who’s going to clean up the cleaning supplies and mop the floor now?”  Iwaizumi calls out.

“I repeat.  Suck my dick Iwaizumi I don’t care today.”  Suga’s voice echoes down the hallway and the back door to the alley slams itself shut.  He can hear Daichi laughing from the kitchen as he shakes his head and digs a mop out of the closet.

\--

He’s been here since seven this morning.  He’s pulling a double because Hinata caught the flu and is currently home, probably sweating to death in bed, and Daichi is standing at the other end of the counter looking nearly as dead on his feet as Iwaizumi feels.  He has a moment to hope that Daichi didn’t catch the flu after taking over the soup Suga insisted they deliver last night before the bell over the door rings.

It’s her.

Iwaizumi suppresses his shudder, barely, and Daichi suddenly looks like he’s trying not to choke on a lemon.

Her badly dyed soccer mom hair is unruffled as the door settles behind her and Iwaizumi swears he feels the temperature of the room drop at least five degrees.  As she pushes her “I’d like to speak with a manager” sunglasses to the top of her head and surveys the shop he almost wishes one of the Tanakas were in the shop today just so he could sic them on her.  He normally wouldn’t wish their wrath on his worst enemy.  But this lady…well he could make an exception in her case.  She taps a perfectly manicured nail against her cheek and Iwaizumi meets Daichi’s eyes before they flicker to the back of the display case.

The bagel there fell on the floor a half hour ago but neither of them wanted to bother tossing it just yet, both secure in the knowledge that neither of them will grab it for a customer on accident and keeping it there keeps the case looking nice and full.  It’s her bagel.  The exact kind she always gets and always finds a fault in no matter what.  And if it’s not the bagel it’s the coffee she gets.  Or the service.  One day it was the fact she was given too many napkins.  Once it was because they wouldn’t take her coupon for a free coffee with the purchase of a breakfast sandwich; they don’t serve sandwiches, they’ve never served sandwiches here.

Daichi’s eyes meet his again and Daichi grins.  Slow and sweet and wicked and Iwaizumi nods back.

“I want a cinnamon raisin bagel and a large hazelnut coffee with extra sugar.  No cream.  Make it right this time not like that boy last night did.”

Iwaizumi was “that boy” from last night.  It’s like his own personal bagel shop hell experience that she come in every night he works.

Daichi gets the bagel and slides it into a tiny paper sleeve as Iwaizumi makes her coffee - exactly like he always makes it - and they each hand over their piece of her order with a smile.  She stares at them both like she can’t figure out why they’re smiling at her and not bowing down at her feet or something, drops the exact change on the counter, and sashays out with her over large purse dangling from her elbow and scraping the door on the way out.

“The Tanakas will probably kill us when they find out,” Iwaizumi states as he starts wiping down the counter.

“Nah.  They’ll find it hilarious.  Saeko might scold us a little.  Ryuu won’t do anything but laugh because I’m his boyfriend and it’s funny.  Asahi would have a heart attack if he found out though.”  Daichi busies himself with wiping down the coffee bar behind the counter.

“Our secret then?”

“Deal.”

\--

Akaashi looks ready to murder someone and Hinata is really hoping it’s not going to be him.  He can’t think of anything he did today to earn that look, especially since they’ve only been at work for just over an hour and the shop has only been open a few minutes.  A quick glance at the digital clock under the counter shows that it’s only been seventeen minutes since the shop opened and he joined Akaashi at the counter.  He doesn’t think that even  _ he _ can manage to piss Akaashi off to the point of murder in under twenty minutes.

“Ma’am do you have anything smaller to pay for your bill with?”

Hinata shuffles to the other end of the counter, giving a few of their regulars apologetic smiles as he does, and notes the total on the top of the register as the lady in front of Akaashi sighs heavily and waves her $100 bill above the countertop: $2.78.  No wonder Akaashi looks frustrated.

“I’m travelling.  I wanted to break this.”

“I’m sorry ma’am we are a small shop and have only been open a few minutes.  I don’t have the money in the till to give you back enough change.  Do you have a smaller bill?”

“I’m travelling,” she repeats slowly, as if saying it a second time will magically make Akaashi change his mind or fill the register with enough money to break her bill.

Really, Hinata thinks, Akaashi is some kind of saint or something.

“Perhaps the bank down the street would be able to break your hundred.  Or if you’d like you can step to the side and wait while we help our other customers and maybe we can build up enough change for you to use your bill.  Unless you have something smaller.  Perhaps a five or a ten in your wallet?”

“No.  I’m travelling.  All I have are hundreds.”

“If you can’t pay for your things I’ll have to ask you to step aside or come back later.  We have other customers waiting.”

The lady huffs and shoves her bill back into her pocket before spinning on her heel and leaving the store.

Akaashi smiles sweetly as he pours her coffee down the drain and waves the next customer up to the register.

“Will a five be acceptable?” The girl teases as she hand over her cash and Akaashi laughs.

“I don’t know,” Akaashi replies.  “Are you travelling?”

The customers in line laugh at the joke and the girl blushes as she drops her change in the tip jar and leaves, waving over her shoulder.

“See you guys tomorrow!”

\--

Saeko and Ryuu are settled at the tiny table in the corner of the shop chatting quietly when Hinata bursts in and spots them.

“Oh my god you guys have you seen this?”

He shoves his tablet into Saeko’s hands and nearly climbs into Ryuu’s lap to crowd them together to show them his screen.  It’s open to a local community site that’s filled with articles about things to do in the area, which apartments to avoid renting in because the landlords suck, which stores have the best deals, and that sort of thing.  The article that Hinata has open is from a local writer - Azumane - that Saeko remembers reading a few other things by.  The guy seems pretty snarky and he definitely knows his way around the local bars and gyms if his articles are anything to go by.

**_Bagel Explosion: The Customer Is Not Always Right… And It’s A Good Thing_ **

Her eyes go wide when the words sink in and Ryuu smacks her arm excitedly.

“That us,” he hisses in her ear.  “‘Bagel Explosion.’  That means us, right?”

She glances at the paint on their window, a clipart looking explosion with a bagel in the middle of it, and then back at the article.

> _ Frequent readers of my personal blog, UF-OHMYGOD, will notice that I have become rather enamored with bagels lately - mostly because my boyfriend keeps buying them from his new job and bringing them home to our boyfriend and myself and some days I think he’s  _ **_trying_ ** _ to get us fat or something.  The other day I finally got lucky enough to head down to that bagel shop in the middle of the street nearby.  If you live around here I’m sure you know the one.  Little shop.  Exploding bagel stenciled on the window.  Friendly staff. _
> 
> _ When I visited I also got the distinct pleasure of discovering that not only is it run by a pair of amazing siblings but they take no shit and there will be no disrespecting of their staff on their watch. _
> 
> _ I had been in the corner eating my bagel (blueberry with strawberry cream cheese) and finishing off my coffee (hazelnut with vanilla creamer and yes both the bagel and coffee were wonderful) and I had been watching a customer talking to the cashier for a few minutes.  Said cashier kept shaking his head and saying something quietly to the customer, trying to continue working and helping other customers.  Just as I was getting ready to collect my things I heard the cashier say something along the lines of “I’m already taken please stop asking me.” _
> 
> _ That’s when I realized what I had assumed was just a quiet misunderstanding was, instead, the customer’s blatant refusal to take no for an answer when asking this cashier out and their absolutely rude behavior in hitting on the cashier while they were working in the first place.  As this customer continued to rudely bother the cashier I heard them say something about doing a lot of business in the shop and that they demanded to be treated with respect - which I found to be disgustingly hilarious due to the way they were treating the cashier in the first place - and that they insisted on speaking to a manager about the way they were being brushed off.  Because they were “a paying customer damn it” and therefore deserved… (at this point I lost track because I was already wondering if this person had a point and if I would have to step in, which is not something I am comfortable with normally but heaven knows this cashier definitely didn’t deserve this kind of treatment.) _
> 
> _ A younger guy around my age stepped from a nearby table, having obviously heard and seen the same as I had and hadn’t realized sooner what was happening, with a fierce look on his face, eyes narrowed as he stepped forward, obviously ready to tear into the customer.  But he was stopped by a delicate hand on his shoulder as a lady a few years older stepped up beside him and smiled at the customer. _
> 
> _ Had that customer been smart he would have turned tail and ran right then.  But no.  He insisted that he was being mistreated and the cashier was being rude and snubbing him and ignoring him while ringing up other customers and that he knew the manager and deserved to be treated well because of his standing order with the shop and no leather jacketed teenager was going to stop him from getting what he deserved. _
> 
> _ Said “leather jacketed teenager” then politely introduced herself as Tanaka Saeko, 22 years old and co-owner of Bagel Explosion, and continued to tell the customer exactly what he could do with his supposed standing order and that if he, or anyone, thought it was proper behavior to constantly hit on someone while they are attempting to do their job and refusing to take no for an answer like “a self-entitled mannerless asshole with all the tact of a rubber boot” (her exact words, no lie) then they could just stay the hell out of her shop and far away from her, her employees, or any decent human being.  She also had a few other choice words for the customer that, while inspiring, probably shouldn’t be repeated. _
> 
> _ The customer slunk out of the shop looking like he had just been through the wringer and everyone left inside congratulated and thanked her for being such a strong owner and standing up to the customer. _
> 
> _ All in all that day reminded me that the customer is not always right and sometimes there are still owners out there who aren’t afraid to remind those customers of that fact. _
> 
> _ You will never hear a bad word from me about Bagel Explosion (even if my boyfriend should no longer work there someday in the future) and any bad press you see this place get should be taken with a grain of salt because chances are behind that press is some customer who forgot that they aren’t always right and aren’t entitled to every single thing they want. _

“Holy shit,” Sakeo whispers as she finishes the article.  Ryuu echoes her sentiment and hands Hinata back the tablet.  “I mean it’s not like it’s a national news endorsement or anything.  But holy shit.”

“Azumane is one of the more well known bloggers around here.  Like half the city subscribes to his blog.  Or at least most of the people our age.”  Ryuu sucks in an excited breath and looks around the shop.  “Wait you don’t suppose one of his boyfriends works here do you?  That would be so awesome!”

Hinata pauses in slipping his tablet back in his bag.  “Azumane?  Asahi?  Yeah.  He’s one of Iwaizumi’s boyfriends.  He’s really nice.  They actually live a few blocks from me.  I walk their dog sometimes and check on their cat when they’re out of town.  What?”  He adds on when he notices Saeko and Ryuu staring at him.

“Did you know that before Iwaizumi started working here?”  Saeko asked.

Hinata shrugs.  “No.  But you get to know a lot about people when you scrub the floors together at 7 AM because someone spilled cherry syrup the night before and didn’t clean it up.  Anyway I just wanted you guys to see that.  It’s wicked good press and all that.  So you might need to hire another person or start taking shifts yourselves again.”  Hinata grins and waves as he hurries off towards the back room to drop off his stuff.

The bell over the door chimes and Sakeo laughs.

“So, Ryuu, you remember how to run that register?”

\--

Akaashi watches Suga’s face go blank as a customer mutters “Oops” and the sound of something falling to the floor reaches their ears.  He’s pretty sure it’s the stack of extra napkins that Suga just refilled for the third time that day.  Suga smiles at the customer and waves away their apologies as he goes to grab a new bag of napkins, Ryuu already hopping over the counter to clear away the napkins from the floor as their last guest of the morning leaves.

He’s in the middle of counting extra money to drop in the safe before the afternoon crowd hits when he’s startled by a thump next to him.

Suga is staring down at the bag of napkins that fell from his hand and just split open, spilling napkins all over the floor.

“Well fuck you too,” Suga announces to the thankfully empty shop before he turns and just walks away into the back.

“Hey, Kou?”  Ryuu calls after him and then vaults back over the counter - because walking a foot to the left to go around it is so overrated apparently - and hurries into the backroom.

Iwaizumi comes out a moment later, blinking rapidly and shaking his head.

“Do I want to know?”  Akaashi asks him.

“Well let’s just say when I ask Suga something when he’s having a bad day and he replies with ‘fuck you’ or ‘suck my dick’ I don’t generally drop to my knees.”

“In the back room?”

“Yep.”

“I do inventory in that room.”

“Yep.”

When Ryuu saunters out fifteen minutes later he looks very much like the cat that got the canary - Akaashi’s brain wants to supply the word cream but he refuses to let it because  _ no  _ \- and the napkins have been refilled for the fourth time that day, thanks to Iwaizumi.

“You couldn’t have waited until you got home?”  Akaashi can’t help himself from asking when Suga appears behind Ryuu.  He doesn’t exactly look all that much happier but the edge of tension in his shoulders has gone down and he looks a touch more relaxed than before.

“I tried,” Suga shrugs.  “I said ‘Ryuu no’ but he overrode my decision.”

“I said ‘Ryuu yes,’” Ryuu laughs.

“You know the boss isn’t always right, Suga,” Iwaizumi adds as he sweeps up on the other side of the counter.

“Yeah.  But he does give good blowjobs.”

Ryuu grins and Akaashi wonders about the merits of bleaching his brain because he did not need that image in his head.  Not about his coworker and his boss.

\--

“I’m sorry ma’am we don’t have that in at the moment.  The company we get that from is having issues making it so we don’t have it in stock.”  Iwaizumi offers her a sample of their new coffee instead and sighs as she walks away at least somewhat satisfied.  Why did it always seem like the moment you ran out of something  _ everyone _ wanted it?  Even if you usually barely sold ten in an entire week or more.  It was like a conspiracy or something.  Or someone sending out a mass text about how they didn’t have pineapple cream cheese so everyone HAD to go ask about it.

“Do you have any pineapple cream cheese to go with your bagels?  I drove two hours for it.”

Iwaizumi sighs and rubs his temples.  “Go to hell, Kuroo.”

“Rude.”  Kuroo leans against the counter and props his chin in his hand.  “And here I came all this way to see you.”

“I thought you just said you came here for pineapple cream cheese?”

“Pineapple cream cheese… my boyfriend… you know.”

“If you’re comparing me to cream cheese I think I might have to dump you.  I’ll keep Asahi and we can run away together.  You can have the cream cheese.”

“So rude.”  Kuroo sighs then turns serious.  “You doing okay?  You look kinda ragged.”

Iwaizumi glances around to make sure the shop is empty and then drops his head onto the counter.  He hums in contentment when Kuroo rubs the back of his neck gently.

“It’s just been a long day and Saeko isn’t back from the bank yet so it’s been just me and Hinata for the last two hours and it’s been busy and I swear I’ve refilled that same stack of coffee cups six times today but it just keeps going away.  It’s like there’s a coffee cup gremlin stealing them away.”

“Aw,” Kuroo coos, “poor thing.  If you want Asahi and I were talking about doing a night in tonight.  Crappy movies, crappy takeout, maybe some ice cream or something.  You’re more than welcome to come over to my place and join us.  Maybe we can throw in some sloppy makeouts just for you.”

Iwaizumi laughs against the counter.  “That actually sounds pretty amazing right now.  Especially the ice cream,” he adds just to hear Kuroo laugh.

“Okay text me when you get off work and one of us can come pick you up or something.”  Kuroo pats his shoulder.  “You might also want to check your creamer machine.  I think it’s leaking.”

Iwaizumi curses as the bell above the door signal’s Kuroo’s departure and spins around to see creamer pooling on the counter and dripping onto the floor.

“Hinata!  Grab the mop.  We have a situation!”

\--

“Why does he need half a dispenser worth of napkins?”  Hinata mutters to Akaashi as they watch the customer walk out the door with his small coffee and plain bagel, no cream cheese.  “Why does he even need one?  Even I can eat a plain bagel without making a mess.”

Akaashi stares blankly at the now almost empty napkin dispenser on the table in the corner that he had just filled five minutes ago and sighs.

“I have no idea, Hinata.  Some people are just… yeah.  Some people.”

He wanders over to refill it, again, and comes back to hear Hinata trying to deal with a confused customer.

“Um we sell bagels and coffee,” he says, giving Akaashi a pleading look before turning back to the customer with a smile.  “That’s really it.”

“No sandwiches?  So I can’t use my coupon?”

“I apologize ma’am.”  As a senior staff member it is Akaashi’s duty to help out the newer employees.  And he likes Hinata and his sunny personality and it would be a shame to see the life sucked out of him so quickly because of a customer service job.  So he steps in and tilts his head to send Hinata to the other end of the counter.  “But we don’t sell sandwiches here.  Just coffee, bagels, hot chocolate, and cappuccinos.”

“So you’re telling me this coupon is no good?”  Said coupon is flashed in his face for a moment, so quick he can’t even make anything out on it before she huffs at him and looks around, like someone here will back up her outcry due to their lack of sandwiches.  But the only people in the shop at the moment are Hinata and himself and one customer who is standing just inside the door, headphones covering his ears and eyes on his phone.  “Then where am I supposed to get a coffee and a sandwich?”  

“Not here, obviously,” the other customer states as he steps behind her, headphones around his neck now.  He leans over her shoulder easily thanks to his height and snorts.  “Maybe you should take that coupon to The Sandwich Mines.  You know?  The store it’s actually meant to be used at.  I’m sure you can get a sandwich there.”

The customer scoffs and huffs and gives an irritated little shake of her head.  Akaashi can hear Hinata trying not to snicker from the other end of the counter and he has to fight back a smile himself.  He really loves customers like this guy.

“Look I know the managers here and I am going to tell them just how rude the people around here are.”

The door chimes and Akaashi smiles.

“Oh good.  They just got back,” he says pleasantly.  “You can go tell them in person and please do me a favor and let Ryuu know that we’re almost out of napkins again would you?”

She lets out a high pitched huff and stomps past the Tanakas, not even glancing at them on her way.

“Tsukishima!”  Ryuu exclaims and pulls the tall customer into a hug that he doesn’t look entirely pleased to receive.  “Finally decided to come and give us a try huh?”

“Bokuto refuses to go back to work without a bagel from here, Yukie went on strike with him, and Ennoshita doesn’t trust either of them enough to leave for any length of time when food is involved.  So here I am.”

“Well it’s your lucky day because I, the great Ryuu, am here to serve you.”

“Please don’t give me food poisoning.”

\--

“Is there a reason no one else can change the paper in the labelling machine?”  Iwaizumi crosses his arms and leans against the doorway separating the counter area from the backroom.  “Because I find it hard to believe that it magically only ever runs out when I go to use it.”

“Cause you’re the one with the magic touch to make it work?”  Noya grins as he squeezes past with a handful of rags and a bottle of window cleaner to touch up the doors.  They’ve got fifteen minutes til closing and are doing their best to keep busy, keep out of each other’s hair, and to keep off each other’s nerves after a long stressful day.

Iwaizumi grunts as the door chimes and then shakes his head when he realizes it’s just Noya poking his head outside to talk to Kenma, most likely letting him know he’ll be done soon.

“I think it’s more like no one else has bothered to learn  _ how _ to do it so they leave it to me,” he grumbles as he turns around and leaves to fill the paper.  Someone has to do it after all, it’s not going to change itself.  He can hear Noya clattering around in the supply closet and once he finishes changing the paper he steps back out front again.  Akaashi, Suga, and Noya are standing at the counter talking and Iwaizumi lets out a frustrated huff.  “Is there a reason you’re all just standing here now?”

Suga looks around the empty - and perfectly clean - shop and then looks pointedly at the clock which shows two minutes to closing and then stares at Iwaizumi.

“Because fuck you that’s why,” he states calmly with a smile.

Iwaizumi stares back, unimpressed and not the least bit intimidated.

“Suga,” Akaashi chides, “don’t make me wash your mouth out with soap.”

“Oh I’d like to see you try,” Suga scoffs back at him and Noya pointedly hurries over and snaps the lock on the door and flips the sign.

“I think it’s about time for us to drop the cash and get the hell away from each other,” Noya says.  “I love you all but yeah we need to go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to come yell at me (and see all my fics & nonsense) on [tumblr ](http://ezzydean.tumblr.com)


End file.
